Warm Welcome

     I apologize that it's been a few weeks since I have written an update.  The move has kept us very busy and we did not have internet service (except on my phone) the first week we were here in Indiana.  Speaking of the move...
     We are now living in Indiana!!!  I absolutely love our new home and our new neighborhood.  The weather has been cold (BRRR!!!), but our neighbors have given us a very warm welcome.  An older couple across the street came over with a list of helpful phone numbers (who to call for lawn care, what trash company is good etc) and made us a pot of homemade minestrone soup.  Another neighbor brought us warm chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven and sat and chatted with me for almost an hour.  Her husband works with Jim (although they haven't run into each other yet).  And a younger couple came over last night with their adorable one year old son (They also brought a plate of chocolate chip cookies- I could get used to this!).   Our cat, Melody, was fascinated with their little boy who toddled around chasing her.  It was very cute to watch:)  And they too are avid board game players-Score!- so we will be setting up a game night soon.  We have been overwhelmed with how friendly everyone has been and look forward to meeting more neighbors as the weather warms up.  We are already starting to see a few brave souls out jogging and riding bikes. 
     We have also been warmly welcomed by our new church!  It usually takes a while to get plugged in someplace new, but we are already feeling at home.  This church reminds me of what Heaven will be like...all ages, all colors coming together to worship God.  I look forward to Sundays with excitement and anticipation!
     Jim is being welcomed in by his new supervisor and colleagues.  It's not a new job, but it is a new place and he is enjoying the new challenges and opportunities.
     And I can't forget to mention that we already have good friends coming down next week to visit and my sister's family the week after that!
     Talk about a warm welcome indeed!  I feel so thankful.  This will be a great place for Jim and I to raise kids.  It seems like we struggled for so long, but now everything is falling into place - I can almost hear God  whisper to my heart, "See, I've had a plan all along.  I've got everything under control!  Just be patient a little longer and trust me!"
    
    

Book Club: Megan's Birthday Tree

     Open Adoption Bloggers now has a book club!  Our first book to read and discuss was a sweet picture book, "Megan's Birthday Tree" by Laurie Lears.  All participating bloggers sent in discussion questions and we are each answering some of those questions in our blogs.  If you would like to read more, on March 6th you can go to http://openadoptionbloggers.com/books/book-club/.  Heather will have a list of links to all the participants for this round.  You will find my answers below  -Because we are still in the middle of our move, I had to keep my answers a little shorter than usual.  Happy reading!

     Synopsis of Story (from cover of book):  "Megan is adopted, but she and her parents keep in touch with her birth mother, Kendra.  Every year on Megan's birthday, Kendra decorates the tree she planted when Megan was born and sends a picture of it to Megan.  Megan cherishes this Birthday Tree, for it ties her and Kendra together:  But one day Kendra writes that she is getting married and moving to a different town.  Will she forget Megan, without the tree to remind her?
    
     Discussion Questions:

Megan's birth mother planted a tree when she was born, and decorates it yearly to remember her birth. Do you have something special that you do to celebrate your child's birth or adoption?

     We have not adopted yet, but I really like this idea.  Kid's think in the concrete so I can see how having something tangible to represent the adoption would be very helpful.  I also like how the tree grows with Megan. 
     Traditions help us to feel connected.  My good friend shares her children's birth stories with them each year on their birthday and they love it!  Since I like to write, one thing I plan to do is write our children's birth/adoption stories (and my husband can illustrate them)-We can bind it into their very own personalized picture book. 

Do you think this book represents a realistic view of what open adoption might look like? How does the book and/or your own personal experience with open adoption correlate with what Ms. Page writes as a forward?

     I think the book represents open adoption well.  Open adoption, like all relationships, grows and changes over time.  I think the author did a good job of conveying Megan's fears and emotions as well as her love for her birth mother Kendra. 

In the story, Megan struggles with the fear that her birthmother will forget her if she no longer has the Birthday Tree to remind her. What fears have you struggled with in your adoption journey? What helped you overcome those fears?

     Because we have been waiting a long time, the biggest fear we have had to struggle with is 'will it really happen for us'?  Our faith has been a constant source of hope for us.  We believe God has a plan for our life and we know that His plan is the best.  We have also been blessed with wonderful friends and family that encourage us when we have a rough day. 

While the birthday tree was used to decorate and celebrate Megan's birthday in what other ways do you believe the tree was important to Megan and her birth mom?

     I think the tree is a good symbol of life and growth...the tree grows right along with Megan.  Also the tree represents Kendra and Megan's love for each other- it grows and changes over time, but it is always there. 

This book focused on the ongoing relationship between Megan and her birth mom, allowing insight into the complexity of that evolving bond, rather than simply being a sort of expected re-telling Megan’s birth and adoption story. As an adoptive parent, how would you respond to your child’s questions about Megan and her birth mom if your kid's relationship with their birth mom or birth dad is not so open or positive?

       Kids need honesty and the truth, but it sharing it at an age appropriate level and with tactfulness and grace can go a long way.  I think the most important thing to emphasize is love.
    

In Megan's Birthday Tree, Megan's adoptive parents were present at various points, but tangentially. Did you pick up on this? Does your response to the background role the adoptive parents played say anything about where your family is in your adoption journey?

     Surprisingly, I didn't pick up on it much while reading the book because I was so caught up in the story.  For this story, I thought it was appropriate for the adoptive parents to be a little in the background as it focused on Kendra and Megan's relationship.  I do appreciate that the adoptive parents were portrayed as supportive and were not threatened by Megan's relationship with her birth mother.  I think a little bit of jealousy (on both sides) is probably a normal part of the process.  But as the open adoption relationship matures and grows, hopefully the trust and comfort level grows as well. 
    

The book was categorized by the publisher as one of its "issue books," dealing with "children's problems and special needs." Other books in the series address topics like autism, epilepsy, and stuttering. What do think about a book on open adoption being characterized that way

     It does bother me a little that the book is listed as an "issue books."  This perpetuates the myth that adopted children are "broken" and "mal-ajusted."  Adoption is a great way for families to be formed!

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Friends are Friends Forever

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Friends are Friends Forever:     I am dating myself a bit, but as we travel across the country toward our new home, I have had a 90's song running through my mind......

Friends are Friends Forever

    I am dating myself a bit, but as we travel across the country toward our new home, I have had a 90's song running through my mind..."Friends are Friends Forever" by Michael W. Smith.  We have turned the page and are beginning a new chapter in life...new state, new home, new church, new job, new adoption opportunities, new friends.  With all the new, I am so happy that we don't have to leave everything behind.  We can't pack the mountains of California in our suitcases.  There was not room on the moving truck for Primo Deli (although I'm craving one of Tammi's sandwiches right now).  But we can carry friendships with us all 2200 miles across the country. 
     Friendships are not limited by geographical distance.  We have friends that we met the week after we were married (now over 18 years ago).  They have definitely endured the test of time and distance and remained friends with us through eight moves and four states- even driving across the country to help us move to California six years ago.  While Jim was in Seminary we were part of a close knit group of friends.  We sang together on a worship team and ministered together at a mission church on a weekly basis.  Although we all live in different parts of the country (and world) now, whenever we do get to see each other or even talk on the phone, it's as if we just pick up right where we left off the last time.  Earlier this week I received an email from one of those friends.  She was writing to let us know that she was fasting and praying for us during lent about our desire for a child.  Even though we rarely get to talk and only see each other every couple of years, she always seems to write just what I need to hear, when I need to hear it:)  I could go on with so many more examples.  As I sit here and write this blog, I am truly grateful for the friends God has blessed us with.
     And California is no exception.  We have dear friends that we will miss, but I am glad that we don't have to say goodbye.  They can join our group of "forever friends", our hearts forever mended together. 

 

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

    
    
    

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Saying Goodbye

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Saying Goodbye:      A week from tomorrow we say goodbye to California.  We are very excited about our move to Indiana-there are days I feel almost ready to...

Saying Goodbye

     A week from tomorrow we say goodbye to California.  We are very excited about our move to Indiana-there are days I feel almost ready to burst at the seams with anticipation, but our goodbye is also a little bittersweet.  California has been our home for the past six years.  While here, we have experienced some very high highs and some very low lows.  We have made friends that we will hold close to our heart and cherish forever.  We have laughed...we have cried...we have worked... we have played... we have loved...we have LIVED!  California will always be a part of our journey-a part of our adoption journey and a part of our life's journey. 
     Today I am thankful.  Thankful for God's faithfulness through this season of our life.  Thankful for the precious friends He has put in our lives- friends who have impacted our lives forever and who journey with us.  Thankful that He always has a plan and we can put our full trust in Him! 

     Here are some pictures of our time in California-  Lots of great memories!!!  I'll add more if I get the chance.  These are some already saved to my computer. 

New Beginnings

     There is a lot of new in our lives right now.  We are moving to a new state- Indiana!  Jim was selected for a transfer with his job as a Prison Chaplain.  Two weeks from today, we will hit the road with our kitten, Melody to begin our roadtrip to our new state.  We are going to be new homeowners!  This will be our first time buying a house and not only that, it is our dream house.  We totally expected to buy a starter house...something we could fix up and transform into our dream house.  God had other plans and we are overwhelmed with gratitude at His provision.  We will be going to a new church!  I love my Grace family and it is sad to leave after six years.  It's always a little scary to move to a new place and try to find a church family.  But, while we were on our house hunting trip, we visited an awesome church that welcomed us with open arms!  We will have new opportunities with adoption!  Our agency is in Indiana, so that part won't change, but we are working on a new letter.  I am really excited about it...it feels more like us.  We are also thinking about fos-adopt- which would be a brand new adventure for us.  Lots and lots and lots of new!
     With that in mind, I decided it was time for a new beginning with my blog.  I really lost the motivation to write last year.  I felt like there wasn't really anything important to write about with our adoption journey.  It's so easy to get stuck sometimes, but the slower seasons are just as much a part of our story as the "big events."  Jim and I read a book this fall about looking for God's grace in the everyday (I'll write more about that later).  So I am making a new committment to journaling our journey!   All of our story is important!  I want to keep my eyes open for everyday graces!  So I am making a new goal to write at least once a week...whether I "feel" like it or not:) 

      "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.  His mercies never come to an end.  They are new every morning, new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness oh God!  Great is thy faithfulness."