Friday, June 1, 2012

While We Are Waiting

Here's a pic of us on our latest trip to San Fransisco

     Waiting is not easy.  There are days when Jim and I just want to skip ahead to the next chapter of life when our baby is already born and safe in our arms.  Unfortunately, that is not the way life works.  For whatever reason, our adoption journey has taken longer than we expected.  We are learning the lesson of finding balance in our lives and actively living while we wait.
     This spring we started talking about how we both felt that in some ways we had been putting life "on hold" while we waited to adopt.  We both were feeling weary from the wait, but didn't know how to break out of our rut.  Then we read a statement by Les and Leslie Parrot that really got our attention.  They talked about the trap of  "indefinitely preparing to live."  We looked at each other and it clicked.  That's exactly what we had been doing.  Most of our conversations, much of our time and energy was all focused on the future.  We were trying to live in the there and then instead of the here and now.  As much as we want to speed up time, it's out of our control.  If we constantly grasp at the future, we will miss out on the present.
     So we decided to make some changes.  I am writing again- not just adoption related topics, but for fun!  I've even set a personal goal to submit one of my stories to a children's magazine by fall.  We are taking two great vacations this summer.  First, in June, we are traveling to Arizona to visit my parents and pick up our niece and nephew for two weeks.  In July, we are flying to Michigan to visit family and then on to Florida for a convention with our church and Disney World.  We are working on personal goals such as getting in better shape and learning Spanish.  We are enjoying what is happening in our lives right now! 
     That doesn't mean that there isn't any preparing and dreaming going on!  We still talk about "When our baby arrives..."  We still pray every day that our baby will be with us soon.  We pray for the birthmother that we will one day have a realtionship with, that God would give her peace and courage and strength.  We still set aside time to for adoption related activities.  But we are also taking time to live in the now!
     We have a good and full life.  We have a great relationship with each other.  We have wonderful friends and family.  We have much to enjoy in the here and now while we are waiting!


  1. That is a tough balance and requires lots of 'checks' to stay on track. Living now and preparing for the future is so worth the effort, though. I didn't know y'all were learning Spanish! Fun!! I really enjoy foreign languages.


  2. Thanks Cindy, It is a tough balance and I know we will have to revisit this issue again and again. We are just starting Spanish...we plan to work on it while we travel this summer:)

  3. Fantastic post! My husband and I, as adoptive waiting parents too, have struggled with this as well- to remember to live fully in our relationship and to foster our interests as individuals while at the same time "waiting" to be parents.