Wednesday, November 14, 2012

2012 Open Adoption Bloggers Interview Project!

 
Today is the day!  I'm am so happy to be participating in this year's Open Adoption Bloggers Interview Project.  This year there were over 100 participants!  You can read all of the awesome interviews here.  I had the pleasure of being paired with Sarah from My Little Lantern.  She and her husband have adopted two adorable kids from Taiwan.  Her love for her children shines through her blog and the many photos of their family activities.  My interview with her is below.  I hope you enjoy!  She also interviewed me.  You can read all about it at http://www.mylittlelatern.com.
 
1.) What brought you to your decision to adopt? How did you decide on international adoption? How did you decide on Tawain?
We waited for several years after we married to try and start a family. We tried to get pregnant for about a year with no luck before deciding that we’d rather pursue adoption than to investigate and pursue fertility treatments. We decided on international adoption because we wanted to adopt a relatively young child as first time parents, and most importantly… did not want to wait for a birth mother to choose us. We did not like the idea of waiting and waiting and potentially never being chosen. We preferred to wait in a line for a program that we were eligible for, and know that we’d be matched with our child eventually. We went to an international adoption seminar thinking that China NSN would be a stable program choice. We then learned that we’d have to wait until I was 30 to get in line, the line was growing horribly long, and rule changes on the horizon make us not eligible to adopt from China. Somehow during massive internet searches I learned of Taiwan adoption programs, researched the differences between several different programs, and chose an agency and facilitator that fit our needs on ethics, fees, reviews by other adoptive families, and wait times. I firmly believe that God had a hand in helping match us with the children that were just right for our family at the times of their adoptions, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


2.) You have adopted two beautiful children from Taiwan. How were your two adoption experiences similar? How were they different? Was the waiting period easier or more difficult the second time around?
Yes! They are quite cute! It helps get them out of trouble when they do things like knock my glasses off my face and break them or smear chocolate on the couch. Our adoption experiences were similar in that we used the same home study agency, same adoption agency, and same facilitator in Taiwan. They were different in that our daughter lived in the “baby house” that facilitated our adoption where our son lived in government sponsored foster care. We had significantly more updates about our daughter while we waited for her adoption to be completed in comparison with what information we received on our son. It was more difficult to feel emotionally invested in an adoption when months and months and months go by with no updates. Waiting for our daughter’s referral was very difficult because the extremely short wait we expected turned into 15 months of waiting for a referral thinking every day for a year… this referral could come any day now. I experienced my first anxiety attacks due to the wait, and they were very real and scary. The second time around, we got in line to adopt again before we were even sure that we wanted to adopt again. We were very busy and blessed by having a daughter, and there wasn’t the longing that tugged at my heart like there was while waiting for our daughter’s referral.

3.) It is obvious from your blog that you place great importance on teaching your children about their culture (Which by the way I think is awesome and so important!). How do you go about finding authentic and enriching experiences for your family to participate in? Do you live in an area where this is easy or difficult? Have you faced any prejudice or obstacles? Have you made any unexpected friends or connections along the way?

While we place importance on learning about and celebrating Chinese and Taiwanese culture, we do not label this as "their" culture. Our children are Taiwanese Americans living in an American culture. While we hope to instill in them an understanding and appreciation for Chinese and Taiwanese culture, we know that by living in the U.S. they will never truly be a part of it, and are stuck somewhere in the middle. We explore culture as a family, for all of us to celebrate together.

(That is so true!  Culture may not have been the right word choice, but I do think that what you are doing is great.  Knowledge about our roots is extremely important in forming our identity.)

We live in small town Indiana, surrounded by beans and cornfields, where there is a significant absence of diversity. We’ve made friends with the few Asian Americans that are local to us including mainland Chinese immigrants, a Korean American family, and transracial families with children that are Korean and Chinese adoptees. We participated in Chinese school last year, driving 45 minutes to weekly classes. We make it a priority to socialize with other Taiwan adoptive families. We’ve traveled to Colorado, Texas, southern Indiana, and trips to Chicago several times a year. We’d like to go to California next year for a huge Taiwan adoptive family gathering, but may need to spend that vacation money on a down payment of a larger home. We enjoy Chinese/Taiwanese cultural events and exploring new foods. One year we went to Ann Arbor, Michigan, for spring break just to check out some authentic restaurants and stay at a hotel where our daughter could swim. I don’t think this is easy, but we make it a priority. We’re blessed to live an hour and a half away from another family with a daughter that lived in the baby house at the same time as our daughter. We travel to their house for play dates about every other month, and feel that this relationship is very valuable for our daughters. I don’t feel that we’ve experienced prejudice or obstacles, but I know what it feels like to be an outsider when trying to participate in activities with groups of Chinese Americans. A few are welcoming, a few look down on us, some stare, and most are indifferent to us. I’ve made unexpected connections with adult Taiwanese adoptees, some of which are in reunion with their birth families in Taiwan. I didn’t expect these connections to happen or be as important as I hold them.

4.) Openness in adoption is fast becoming the norm in U.S. domestic adoptions, but is less common in international adoptions. But it does happen (which I learned from you!) What has been your family's experience? How do you help your daughter and son feel connected to their birth families? How much information were you given about their birth families, medical history, early experiences etc. I know they are young, but have either begun to ask questions? How do you anticipate things will change as they grow older?

Child adoptees from Taiwan often have a significant amount of information regarding their birth family, family medical history (at least from their birth mother), and social background information. Taiwan’s national household registration can help facilitate finding people in Taiwan, provided that they are registering with the government when they move. I know of some Taiwan adoptees that were abandoned and thus do not have information about their birth parents, but these cases are rare. We met our daughter’s birth mother and family when we met our daughter in Taiwan. Our daughter is certainly loved and celebrated by two families, and we hope that she feels so as she grows up. With the help of internet and social media we are able to keep in contact with our daughter’s family. Photos can say a lot when you don’t have a common language. We were not able to meet our son’s birth family, but we do have a lot of information and some photos. We were blessed to Skype and then meet with our son’s loving foster mother, and hope that we can continue to communicate with her via our Taiwan adoption facilitator. Our daughter doesn’t ask a lot of questions, but she has met and knows the names of several children that are Taiwanese adoptees about her age. She liked to talk about what we were going to do in Taiwan the months before our trip, and now brings up her favorite parts of the trip. Last weekend she asked, “Mama, can we go back to Taiwan some day?” “Of course we will! I want to go back, too.” She listed all of the names of the people she wants to see again, including our friend’s dog, and requests to go to church in Taiwan again. That made my heart sing! Our son is nearly two, and his limited vocabulary is centered on eating and playing with cars, trucks, boats, and airplanes. I have no idea how this will change as they grow older. Every adoptee feels differently about their experiences, so we’ll follow their lead. Our children are very different little people, and I imagine that they’ll feel differently about their adoptions as they grow.

5.) What advice would you give to someone just starting the adoption process? About the process in general? Specifics about international adoption? Thinking back, what helped you the most during your adoption journey(s)?

Advice? Could start by going to agency seminars. Get some recommended readings. Research ethics on programs you are interested in. Research ethics some more. The thing that helped me the most during our adoption journeys was getting connected with other Taiwan adoptive families that had previously completed and were in process for their adoptions. Get connected, as you’ll need someone to lean on post-adoption. Life is significantly harder post adoption, and post adoption depression is real. I’m thankful to have a great local adoption support group and lots of Taiwan adoptive mamas to share with online.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Hello Kitty: Introducing Melody Joy!

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Hello Kitty: Introducing Melody Joy!:      Hi, my name is Melody Joy and I am the newest addition to the Thomas family.  I am 12 weeks old and am growing up really fast!  My mark...

Hello Kitty: Introducing Melody Joy!

     Hi, my name is Melody Joy and I am the newest addition to the Thomas family.  I am 12 weeks old and am growing up really fast!  My markings are called Tortoise Shell, but there is nothing slow about me.  I keep my new mommy and daddy very busy:) 
When I first came home, my food dish was bigger than me!
Here I am playing with a favorite toy

I love to climb!




 
Me and my new mommy
 

 
 
Daddy and I love to snuggle!

 
 
I think this basket is just my size

 
 
My mousie, you can't have it

 

All sacked out after a day of play!

 
 
I love to be pulled around in my little "sleigh."

 
 
Tissue paper is great fun

 

So is watching TV



In a few short weeks I have grown twice as long as when I first came home


    As you can see, I have lots of energy and love to play.  I can't wait for my Mommy and Daddy to adopt so I can have a little friend to play with:) 

Friday, August 10, 2012

Just Keep Swimming

Just Keep Swimming, swimming, swimming...
     This is the mantra that has been on my mind the past few weeks.  I love Dory from Finding Nemo.  For all her faults, she is fearless and persistent.  Surrounded by deep murky waters with unknown dangers, she doesn't give up.  Instead she hums a simple tune and keeps on swimming, trusting that everything will work out in the end.  And her courage and tenacity doesn't just help her own journey along, it also encourages Marlin to not give up hope.
     So often I find myself weary of waiting.  Waiting sucks!  There's really not a nicer way to describe it.  We would all like to have a smooth, easy journey to parenthood, but for most adoptive couples the journey is more like a swim upstream against the current.  There are disappointments, delays, and detours.  There are days when it seems like it will never happen.  There are days when hope is hard to find.  Those are the days we especially need to take a deep breath and keep on swimming.
     This is not a blind faith swim.  There are times when it is a good idea to change course.  Maybe it's time to revise your Dear Birthmother letter.  Maybe it's time to consider opening your profile more.  Maybe it's time to do some personal networking.  But maybe it's not.  Sometimes you've done everything you can do and it's just time to let go and trust. 
     Trust...persistance...patience...faith!  Those are words that are hard to put into action, but it can be done.  A few special adoptive moms on the IAC adoption forum are great at reminding me (and other waiting families)- It's not a matter of if we adopt; it's a matter of when we adopt!  The journey is hard, but it will all be worth it in the end.  We just have to keep on swimming.
     These days, I am trying to be more like Dory.  I'm trying to be fearless and persistent.  I'm trying to let go and trust.  I'm trying to keep things in perspective.  I'm trying to remember that when we do adopt, all the struggle will be oh so worth it!  And if I keep on swimming, maybe my courage will encourage someone to else to keep on swimming as well. 
    
    

Friday, July 6, 2012

Summer Fun!

     It's been a while since I posted a new blog, but our summer has been so full of travel and fun that I've hardly had a spare moment to write.  Jim and I have spent most of the last two weeks in a car.  First we drove to Arizona to pick up our niece Cali and nephew Javan.  We visited Monterey and Sequoia National Park on our way home to Susanville.  In Susanville, we spent time with friends, visted Lassen Volcanic Park and had crazy fun with puppets at VBS.  Then we hopped back in the car to drive back to Arizona to deliver the kids safely back to Grandma and Grandpa. 
     The trip was absolutely awesome!  We were all exhausted by the end, but everyone had so much fun.  We did learn a few things during this trip...namely that kids can have fun ANYWHERE!  We wanted to take them to iconic California spots...the ocean, Sequoia, Monterey Aquarium.  They had fun climbing rocks, having pillow fights, and listening to me read through Judy Blume's "Fudge" series.  They enjoyed the "iconic" spots too, the destination just wasn't all that important to them.  The important thing was to just spend quality time together.  The best memories aren't planned, they just happen when we spend time with those we love. 
      This will be a trip we will always remember... so here's some pics for you to enjoy of our fun!   
Javan and Cali at the hotel in Bakersfield

Pillow Fight!

I usually won:)

high-fiving Javan

Look at the air Cali got

I gave free train rides around the pool

What a beautiful girl, inside and out

Jim hanging out with Cali and Javan

The Ocean near Paso Robles
Circus antics

Are we all ready to join?

Not sure what's going on in this pic

Cali and Javan's favorite thing to climb besides rocks, lol

Cali on a rock in Sequoia

cozy cubby at the hotel...no she didn't sleep there

The cannon at the park across the street from our house


Ducks in a row?

They convinced me to join them on the bridge

Pure kid silliness...Cali and Javan with friends Max and Madi

Just the right size

Smiles all around

Friday, June 1, 2012

While We Are Waiting


Here's a pic of us on our latest trip to San Fransisco


     Waiting is not easy.  There are days when Jim and I just want to skip ahead to the next chapter of life when our baby is already born and safe in our arms.  Unfortunately, that is not the way life works.  For whatever reason, our adoption journey has taken longer than we expected.  We are learning the lesson of finding balance in our lives and actively living while we wait.
     This spring we started talking about how we both felt that in some ways we had been putting life "on hold" while we waited to adopt.  We both were feeling weary from the wait, but didn't know how to break out of our rut.  Then we read a statement by Les and Leslie Parrot that really got our attention.  They talked about the trap of  "indefinitely preparing to live."  We looked at each other and it clicked.  That's exactly what we had been doing.  Most of our conversations, much of our time and energy was all focused on the future.  We were trying to live in the there and then instead of the here and now.  As much as we want to speed up time, it's out of our control.  If we constantly grasp at the future, we will miss out on the present.
     So we decided to make some changes.  I am writing again- not just adoption related topics, but for fun!  I've even set a personal goal to submit one of my stories to a children's magazine by fall.  We are taking two great vacations this summer.  First, in June, we are traveling to Arizona to visit my parents and pick up our niece and nephew for two weeks.  In July, we are flying to Michigan to visit family and then on to Florida for a convention with our church and Disney World.  We are working on personal goals such as getting in better shape and learning Spanish.  We are enjoying what is happening in our lives right now! 
     That doesn't mean that there isn't any preparing and dreaming going on!  We still talk about "When our baby arrives..."  We still pray every day that our baby will be with us soon.  We pray for the birthmother that we will one day have a realtionship with, that God would give her peace and courage and strength.  We still set aside time to for adoption related activities.  But we are also taking time to live in the now!
     We have a good and full life.  We have a great relationship with each other.  We have wonderful friends and family.  We have much to enjoy in the here and now while we are waiting!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Empty Arms On Mother's Day

     I wrote the article below several years ago.  It talks about my struggle with infertility and the peace I was able to find through my faith in God.  Since that time my husband and I have continued on our journey toward parenthood.  We have experienced many ups and downs along the way.  In 2008 we began the paperwork for the adoption process.  In Spring 2009, I became pregnant but lost the baby to miscarriage at 11 weeks.  We've had several contacts by potential birthmothers and a match that fell through last summer.  Now we find ourselves here in 2012 still in the waiting process.  Our arms may be empty today, but our hearts remain full of hope.  We know that God has a plan for us and so we continue to wait for our baby to come home to us.  I hope this article will encourage others who find themselves with empty arms this Mother's Day.  Whether your arms are waiting for a baby still hoped for, grieving for a baby you lovingly placed in another woman's arms, or wishing for one more hug from your Mom- I hope you can find joy and peace and hope.  Happy Mother's Day!

     Empty Arms on Mother's Day
By Amy Thomas
Published Church of God Evangel, May 2006

     Pain and heartache surface at the most inconvenient times- sudden tears on the way to a sister's baby shower...a tightening knot in the stomach at the announcement of yet another friend's "surprise" pregnancy"...the uncontrollable and unmistakable flushed face and embarrassment at an uncle's tactless blurting our, "So when are you two going to start popping out kids?"  But for the couple living and struggling with infertility, one of the worst days of the year is Mother's Day.
     Mother's Day is filled with mixed emotions for me.  I have a great mother and mother-in-law, both of whom I am happy to honor on that day.  I have siblings and friends who have children; I rejoice with them in their celebration of life.  But on Mother's day, I also have the painful reminder that I am still childless after 10 years of marriage.  So many years I have sat through a Mother's Day service wearing a brave smile on the outside, all the while crying on the inside and counting the seconds until the service is over and I can dash to the safety of the car before the tears gush out.
     In this article, however, I want to tell of a journey God has taken me on since Mother's Day two years ago.  A journey of heartache, of healing, and of restored hope in God's promise.

The Heartache
     I woke up Sunday morning, already dreading the day.  Usually I'm rushing my husband along, excited about getting to church early for praise team practice and to make preparations for the community dinner to follow the morning service.  But on that day, I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed to shower and get dressed.  I put on one of my favorite dresses, hoping it would make me feel better.  I checked my hair and makeup; I checked to see if we had everything.  Then I checked everything again, stalling, in hopes of postponing the upcoming dread, if only for another five minutes.  But the trip began, and I had to face the day head-on.
     Before service I stood at the door to pin flowers on all the mothers as they came in-young mothers with babes in arms and toddlers clinging to their coats, middle-aged mothers with teenagers following at a safe "cool" distance, elderly mothers whose children had grown- all having one thing in common with each other, but not with me.  I found myself wondering if I would ever have a place among them.
     I don't remember much of the service that morning.  I'm ashamed to say that I spend most of the time feeling sorry for myself and just keeping the tears in check.  Usually I would at least have my husband sitting next to me to hold my hand and give a little encouragement throughout the service.  But this year, he had other responsibilities...and so I was all alone.

The Healing
     It was actually a few weeks after Mother's Day that the healing began to take place.  My friend Stacey led a Bible study on the "Lament" psalms.  After reading several passages and sharing an outline with us, she encouraged us to write our own lament concerning an issue in our lives.  Immediately, my infertility came to mind.  At first I dismissed it.  I really wanted to pick a "safer" topic, especially since there were lots of people around, and I wasn't sure if we were going to be asked to share at the end.
     But then I thought of David.  David obviously found comfort in pouring out his heart, his feelings, his stuggles and deepest pain into his psalms.  Maybe I could find comfort there as well.  I began writing, and the words began to flow.  I began to feel a release from the pain; the burden was lifting.  I didn't want to stop writing!  After the service was dismissed, I went home and wrote some more.  With each line it seemed I traded some of my pain for God's peace.  By the end, my hope had been restored.  God was in control.  He still had a plan for my life.  I could trust Him to meet all my needs.  "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever!  Amen."  (Ephesians 3:20, 21, NIV).

The Hope
     To be perfectly honest, there are days when I still struggle with my infertility.  There are still tears on occasion, still a brave smile to be worn at times.  I don't think the pain will ever completely go away, but at the same time I now have something to hold on to.  I've had my Jacob experience of wrestling with God, and I'm holding on to it.  I've poured out my pain; I've asked the questions I was afraid to ask.  God is sovereign, still in control.
     Whether God chooses to bless me with children or not, I am finally at peace.  I still serve a God who is able.  He is able to sustain me.  He is able to bring me peace and joy in the midst of any circumstance.  He is able to work all things (even this) for my good.

Dear Lord, my Father, my Savior, and my Friend,
sometimes I just don't understand-
You've heard my prayer; You know my desire;
You've seen my tears; You've heard my cry.
Why haven't you given me a child?
You opened Sarah's womb; You opened Rachel's womb;
You even opened Mary's womb to send your Son into the world.
Why won't you open mine?
I see so many unwanted children, abandoned children, abused children.
I would love our children and raise them to serve You.
Lord, I look to You! You are my healer and my provider,
my Savior and my Lord.  All power and authority is in Your hand.
There is nothing too difficult for You.
Lord, breathe life into my barren womb; fill my empty arms;
soothe my aching heart!
Lord, I will give You the praise.  I will testify of Your mighty works. 
My voice will not go unheard; I will give all glory to You.
Lord, I rest in the promise that you hear my cry; and not only do You hear,
but You answer.
I put my hope and my trust in You. 
I know that You are faithful to me always.
I will be faithful to You.
Whatever the future, whatever Your plan. 
I will continue to praise You.  I love You, Lord.





Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Daddy's Arms

Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt: Daddy's Arms:      I would like to welcome my sweet husband Jim back as a guest blogger this week.  I hope you enjoy reading about his memories of his fat...

Daddy's Arms

     I would like to welcome my sweet husband Jim back as a guest blogger this week.  I hope you enjoy reading about his memories of his father's arms and the longing he has to have his arms filled.  You might want to have a box of tissue close by. 



     Although it was many years ago, I still remember it better than yesterday.  I was probably five or six.  We had been out past my bedtime and I had fallen asleep on the long ride home.  Upon arriving home I awakened, but did not stir.  Instead I did what is sometimes typical of children:  I played "possum."  I pretended to be asleep so that someone would carry me into the house and put me to bed. 
     Dad was a genuinely kind man.  He had an active work life as a postal carrier, delivering mail and walking typically 4-5 miles each workday.  It wasn't in his nature to say many cross words to another person.  Even though he had worked hard and was probably exhausted after a long day, Dad still picked up his tired son, carried him into the house, and put him to bed.
     There was something gentle, soothing and reassuring about Dad's arms.  When he held me I felt cared for, loved, even protected.  When Dad held me, for that moment my world was at peace.  I had seen him use the strength of those arms in plowing a garden by hand, in splitting wood and in other chores.  I loved him.  I miss him.
     Dad had no memory of his father's arms.  His father died when Dad was a year old.  Dad readily admitted that he didn't know how to be a father because he couldn't remember having one.  More than twenty-five years after losing him, my heart still aches for Dad, for his loving arms.  He did alright by me.
     Lately my arms have been aching.  I do miss Dad's hugs, but that isn't the only ache I have been feeling.  My arms ache for the child we conceived, but wasn't born.  They ache for the baby promised to us by a birthmother, but lost to us when she walked away.  I ache from the longing to be a father when I am daily reminded by the sight of selfish men who have abandoned this role for temporary gain.  I ache to channel the love of my Dad through my own arms to my children.  I look forward to carrying my son or daughter and putting him/her to bed.  I especially look forward to doing this when he/she is just playing "possum." 
     So where are you?  I have been aching to feel you in my arms for years now, and you have not yet been born.  Whenever you come, know that my arms are ready.  And whenever you do come, know that your arrival will be the only medicine that can cure the ache in my arms.  Carrying you will never be as heavy as carrying this incessant longing for you.  Please come home to us.  Your Mom and I have been waiting for you. 

    
   

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Over the Moon

   
    I really enjoy reading...especially children's literature.   Recently, I checked out several adoption related picture books from our local library.  Below is a book review I wrote on one of the books for a writing class I am taking.  It's not my typical genre of writing- but I was happy with the end result:)  I'd love to hear some suggestions of your favorite adoption related stories. 



Book Review:  Over the Moon-An Adoption Tale

     Over the Moon-An Adoption Tale, is a joyful celebration of adoption that will appeal to both children and parents alike.  Karen Katz is an adoptive parent.   She wrote and illustrated this book to commemorate the birth of her daughter who was adopted from Central America.   The story follows the couple’s journey to parenthood from eager anticipation to the satisfied contentment of bringing their baby home for the first time.  The book is targeted for a K-3 audience, but could also be read aloud to toddlers.

     As a hopeful adoptive mom, I think this book has several characteristics that make it not only a great story, but also a helpful resource for adoptive families.  There are lots of good adoption books.  I think this book goes beyond the norm and integrates three key aspects of adoption.  This adds depth to the story and opens up opportunities for parents to discuss adoption with their children. 

     First of all, the book includes the community aspect of adoption.  At the beginning of the story we see the support offered to the hopeful adoptive parents.  The grandmother, the fruit seller, and the neighbor all ask about when the baby will arrive.  They are eagerly and actively waiting right along with the couple.  Hopeful adoptive parents are sometimes reluctant to show excitement in the waiting process because there is no definitive amount of time to wait.  A support system becomes vitally important.  This couple is supported by a loving community who shares in the waiting and in the celebration when the baby girl is brought home. 

      Second, the story deals with the wide range of emotions the couple goes through.  At the beginning of the story the couple both dream about their baby.  They are excited and hopeful.  When they get “the call”, they are overjoyed and barely able to contain their excitement.  The illustration shows them hugging, suspended in mid-air, with fireworks going off around them.  The next step is nervous anticipation as they pack, prepare and fly away “on a giant airplane…over the moon and through the night.”  The moment of meeting is peaceful and happy, but closely followed by the fear of failing as brand new parents.  Finally there is an exuberant celebration home coming for the new forever family.   The range of emotions adds richness to the story and lets us see the story as a journey in progress and not just a single event. 

     Finally, the book honors the baby girl’s heritage.  This story deals with an international adoption so there is no ongoing relationship with the birthmother.  However, the birthmother is acknowledged, “You grew like a flower in another lady’s tummy until you were born.  But the lady wasn’t able to take care of you, so Mommy and Daddy came to adopt you and take you home.”  Also the baby girl’s homeland is described with references to palm trees, the sea, the mountains, and birds of many colors and depicted by bold, whimsical illustrations.  This is an important part of the baby girl’s adoption/birth story.   Who am I?  Where do I come from?  Who do I look like?  These are all integral aspects of forming an identity.  An adoptive child’s story does not begin with the adoption.  The history and heritage that comes before the adoption is a crucial part of the story. 

     Over the Moon-An Adoption Tale is authentic and heartfelt.  Karen Katz has created a sweet gift, not only for her adopted daughter, but for the many adoptive families who have shared a similar journey.  I would definitely recommend this book. 


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

We Are Going On a Snow Hunt

     Ok, so this blog is just for fun.  Jim and I both love snow!  Here in Susanville we have had a very light winter.  So last Monday we decided to take a drive and not come home until we had found some real snow.  By real snow, I mean big beautiful drifts of snow- a Winter Wonderland that we could enjoy.  As we were driving, my sister called and I told her about our quest.  She in turn told my nephew that we were "hunting" for snow.  That phrase really stuck with me.  It reminded me of a folksong/chant that I used to sing with my students called, "We Are Going On a Bear Hunt."  While I do not have a fondness for hunting bears, I do have a fondness for "hunting" snow.  So this is my  loosely based version, "We Are Going On a Snow Hunt!"  To get the full effect, slap your thighs and clap your hands in rhythm while you sing.  Go ahead!  It's fun to be a kid:)


We Are Going On a Snow Hunt

Going on a snow hunt
Going on a snow hunt
On this beautiful day
On this beautiful day
Got a real good friend
Got a real good friend
By my side
By my side


Oh, oh
Oh, oh
What do I see?
What do I see?
It's Almanor Lake
It's Almanor Lake
Can't go under it
Can't go under it
Can't go through it
Can't go through it
Don't want to go around it
Don't want to go around it
Let's go over it
Let's go over it




Going on a snow hunt
Going on a snow hunt
On this beautiful day
On this beautiful day
Got a real good friend
Got a real good friend
By my side
By my side


Oh, oh
Oh, oh
What do I see?
What do I see?
It's gulls in the wind
It's gulls in the wind
They can't go under it
They can't go under it
They can't go through it
They can't go through it
They can't go around it
They can't go around it
They can soar above it
They can soar above it



Going on a snow hunt
Going on a snow hunt
On this beautiful day
On this beautiful day
Got a real good friend
Got a real good friend
By my side
By my side

Oh, oh
Oh, oh
What do I see?
What do I see?
It's tall pine trees
It's tall pine trees
Can't go over them
Can't go over them
Can't go under them
Can't go under them
Can't go around them
Can't go around them
Let's drive through them
Let's drive through them



Going on a snow hunt
Going on a snow hunt
On this beautiful day
On this beautiful day
Got a real good friend
Got a real good friend
By my side
By my side

Look, look
Look, look
Here is the snow
Here is the snow
Let's stay and play
Let's stay and play
Ok, ok
Ok, ok!

(And that's exactly what we did!)


We finally found our snow at Mt. Lassen National Park

Here is Jim with a winter wonderland all around him.

Here I am...loving every minute in the snow!

Most of the park is closed, so we took a walk along the road.

Here is where the road suddenly ends.  They won't plow again until spring.

I couldn't resist throwing a snowball or two at the cute cameraman:)

We built a little snowman family to remind us that we'd like to bring our kids here someday.

This tree reminded us of a Dr. Suess tree- it's grows curvy from the wind.

Amazingly the visitor center was open, so we enjoyed some hot chocolate before heading home.
















Sunday, March 11, 2012

Adventures in Babysitting

    Jim and I take every advantage to babysit for our friends and family.  We love kids, so what better way for us to get in a little parenting practice than to spend time with kids.  In the past, some of our friends have looked at us strangely, "You really want to spend the night at home watching our kids while we go out on the town?  What is wrong with you?"  But the reality is, we have plenty of time to go out alone together (and we enjoy that time).  What we crave are family nights at home chasing our kids around the house, playing games, making messes and just enjoying time together.
         
    We really do have awesome friends and family who "share" their kids with us on a regular basis.  In the past we have kept my sister's kids ,Tayler, Eryn and Trevor, overnight or for a weekend.  I still have great memories of them spending a week with us when we lived in Detroit.  We visited Bronner's (the world's largest Christmas store), had our own Hawaiian Luau at home and spent lots of time running around Metro Beach.  They are old enough now that they no longer "need" a babysitter, but we still enjoy doing something fun and special with them whenever we travel back to Michigan.
Amy and Tayler putting together a puzzle

Jim and Eryn reading Calvin and Hobbes

Amy and Trevor making cookies


     This past summer we spent a whole week with my brother's kids, Cali and Javan.  We picked them up from my parents and set off traveling around California.  Out of the 8-9 days we were with them, we spent only a few days at our house.  It was a magical week (even without going to Disney).  We explored the Grand Canyon, visited the ocean and ate seafood in San Francisco, explored lava tubes and hung out with friends at Burney Falls.  It was a great week!  And we definitely got practice in the fun and not so fun parts of parenting.  Poor Cali got a bad ear infection, so we were up for a few nights with an understandably not so happy child.  She was a trooper!  They were both great travelers.  One of my favorite memories was Javan singing himself to sleep on our long car drives...so precious.

Javan and Jim with high-flying and high-fiving fun

Amy and Cali at Yosemite National Park



     Our friends Brian and Cindy's kids, Max and Madi, are also two special people in our lives.  They are like family and we consider them our "adopted" niece and nephew here in California.  Madi shares my love of sewing and we have created several fun projects together.  Max shares his latest computer and drawing endeavors with us.  Both of them are very creative.  We love spending time with the whole family and feel blessed to have been part of their lives for the past five years.

One of my sewing projects with Madi

With Max and Madi at Burney Falls


     Our friend Kathryn's kids have also played an important part in our lives.  Quinten and Kiana are my little buddies.  It makes my day when they come find me on Sunday mornings to give me a hug.  Kara is very creative and keeps our fridge adorned with sweet drawings.  Also thanks to her, we have had a Veteran's Day parade in our living room, a castle/fort built in our nursery and operated an animal rescue using clothes baskets for ambulances.  The older boys, Mathew and Joey, are also great kids and we enjoy spending time with the whole family. 

With my two little buddies, Quinten and Kiana

Kara and one of her castle creations


     There are many others that I could tell you about...kids (and their parents) that have enriched our lives and helped fill our home with life and laughter.  Our adventures in babysitting have been and will continue to be a fun and wonderful part of our lives.  They have prepared us well for what will hopefully be the next chapter in our lives- Adventures in Parenthood!