Thursday, October 13, 2011

Strength for Today, Hope for Tomorrow

    
     I am a little embarrassed when I look back and see that my last blog post was almost a month ago.  I could make an excuse and say I've been busy (which is partially true), but in reality I was just not in the mood to write.  All writers experience writer's block at some point or another, and I think in life we can also experience blocks.  Maybe it's depression.  Maybe it's fear.  Maybe it's just fatigue from our journey.  Whatever the case, we all have our days and/or weeks that are more difficult to get through.
     A few weeks ago, I experienced one of those times.  I was feeling pretty down about our long wait to adopt a baby.  I was trying hard to stay postive and hopeful, but just wasn't feeling it.  I sent up a simple prayer that God would send me a sign that He still cared and that our prayers for a baby would be answered.  By the next morning, He had sent me six!  They were little things that may not have meant much to someone else, but they definitely spoke loud and clear to me.  Before I forget them, I thought I would write them down and share them with you.  Hopefully they will encourage you (and remind me) to keep on hoping and believing. 
     The first sign I received was a phone call from our Pastor's wife.  She called to update me on a young woman who had stayed with them a while back.  She is pregnant and at the time was considering adoption.  Since then she has moved to another state and is staying with family.  We have no idea if she is still considering adoption or would be interested in us (although that would be wonderful), but that was not why it encouraged me.  It was encouraging because it reminded me what great friends and family we have.  So many are laboring with us through this journey.  They (YOU) pray for us, pass along our letters, share our links on facebook and lift us up when we are down.  
     I saw the second sign while shopping at Kohl's.  They have a fundraiser going on for a children's charity.  One of the books they had on display caught my attention because it is one of my favorites, On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman.  When I saw the book, I felt a whisper in my heart say hang on, you will get to write your baby's story.  I love to write and have often shared with Jim my desire to write a story about our baby's birth and adoption and all the love surrounding it.  Of course we bought the book and a cute plush polar bear to go with it.   
     After Kohl's we went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse.  We were seated in the booth next to my third sign, a cute, adorable and very active baby.  All through dinner, he kept turning around and smiling at me.  I would smile back or play peek-a-boo and he would gurgle and smile some more.  He also kept trying to hand me the lid to his baby food and later his cheerios.  I think his dad was worried that he was bothering us, but each smile seemed to make my heart a little lighter.   Before we left, two more babies were seated across from us and I could only shake my head and think, "Ok God, I get the message."  But He wasn't done yet.
     The next morning I was on the computer and received two signs.  First, when I was on facebook, I saw that the IAC (our agency) had published one of my blogs, Living in a Glass House:  Being Open in Our Open Adoption Journey.  In the blog I talk about how being open is sometimes hard because it means we have to be vulnerable.  We are inviting people to join us in our journey, not know how long the path is.  It's scary, but it will be worth it in the end when we get to celebrate with all of our friends and family.  As I re-read the blog I had written months before, it encouraged me to keep believing and to not give up hope. Second, I read an email from my friend Cindy that she and her kids had prayed for us that morning.  This was yet another reminder that we are not on this journey alone.  Our families live out of state.  Brian and Cindy and their kids have truly become our family here in California.  We always know that their door and hearts are open to us.  I am overwhelmed with thankfulness when I think of them and others God has placed in our lives. 
     Later that afternoon, I received the final sign.  It was a thank you card from our friends Patrick and Aubrey.  They recently had their fourth baby and I had sent them a quilt I made for their new baby boy.  God has used these friends over and over to encourage both Jim and I during our adoption journey.  It's funny because whenever I start feeling the "baby" blues, a card or email from Aubrey almost always arrives within a few days with just the words I need to hear.  She lives across the country, but her words are like a big hug for my soul. 
     Six signs.  God could have sent one.  He didn't have to send any.  But His love and faithfulness never cease to amaze me.  It reminds me of one of my favorite hymns, "Great Is Thy Faithfulness."  There is a line that says, "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow."  This is a day by day, sometimes minute by minute, journey.  Sometimes I forget that.  I get tired and worry that I won't have the faith and strength to finish the journey.  But I don't have to have strength for tomorrow, I only need strength for today.   God has promised that He will give me that strength when I ask Him.  Not only that, but He gives me hope for a bright future as well. 

4 comments:

  1. I just wanted to tell you that I'm praying for you also. You don't know me, but I feel like I know you. I've walked this journey also. My husband and I had infertility issues/treatments/losses for 10 years. When we decided to adopt, we were broke from all of that, so we knew we had to save up. We tried handing cards out and had them posted at doc's, college campuses, and planned parenthoods-in two different states. No responses. 2yrs later we decided to register with Catholic charities. They were very encouraging yet still we were getty discouraged and ready to accept fate. Well, another year later and God gave us some "smack me in the head" signs. In Jan, my husband told me we still can't afford the adoption, unless it was after we received our taxes. We got our check mid Feb. I happened to be at my corporate office (in another city) and saw a co-worker who I hadn't seen in a while. We rode the elevator and just exchanged pleasantries. Unknown to me, she got off the elevevator and went to her mgr's office and cried. She had just found out her daughter was pregnant and they couldn't afford to keep this second baby. (17mo prior she had a baby girl that she was going to call us to adopt, but decided to keep). That following week 4/21 we received her call asking if we were still hoping to adopt. I gave her my friend's #, a social worker. So they can talk and decide if it's what she wnted to do. My friend called me that night and gave us hope. We met the birthparents on St Pat's day, and met our daughter on her ultrasound also! I was blessed to get to know the birthmother pretty well and still consider her a true friend. That baby was eager to meet us too. After a couple attempts that were WAY too early, Devan was born 7wks early on EASTER SUNDAY **smack**. After 2weeks in NICU, we brought her home on Mother's day *smack*. She is almost 6mo old and her birthmom can see pics on facebook, along with our antics. We will keep in contact so the girls will get to know their sisters. Also, weeks after Devan's birth, we were approached by another co-worker who's daughter was pregnant. But we can't afford the lawyer fees so soon. Well grandparents are raising the baby girl, and this might be another adoption possibility for us.
    I'm sorry for going on so, but I felt I needed to share my story with you. I would love to encourage you in your journey. As much as I hated hearing it, I gotta say it's in His time, not ours. I'll continue to pray. If you'd like to correspond, my email is iowa_transplant@hotmail.com I was forwarded your blog on facebook (I think it had been forwarded often). I can't wait to read your previous posts and relive my journey through you. Take car and God will bless you with His Plan. Love Vicky Gallagher-Florida.

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  2. Wow! What an amazing and encouraging story. Thank you for sharing it with me. Yes, I would love to correspond by email. My email is revjet3netzero.com. I will try to send an email soon. And thank you to everyone who forwards our blog...you never know who might read it:)

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  3. This is awesome! :) I love reading how God sends us little reminders throughout our journeys. :)

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  4. Thank you:) And yes, we need those reminders!

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